Do Over

I think often about what I would have done different with Finn. I try to have no regrets, and I absolutely, 100% know that I made the right decision in giving him up and getting Avalon, but still, the last 6 or so months with him were just so strange and difficult.

Since moving to my new barn I thank my lucky stars every day how great my horse has it now. She has a spotless dry stall every day, clean water, hay all day, the best food, the best barn manager, and the safest property I've ever been at. It is honestly horse heaven. I often think about what would have happened to Finn if I had never moved him last summer, and if I had never moved him back to the barn we were at in New Hampshire. Would everything that had happened, have happened? Probably not. He would have still had all the underlying issues that would have limited him, I'm sure, but maybe not to the same extreme. While we were at our last barn he was in a paddock of 6 geldings, mostly Thoroughbreds. One day one of them reared up and managed to come down on Finn's back. In trying to get the other horse off of his back Finn half-reared and knocked the other horse over completely backwards. I did not witness this, but did hear about it from the barn manager. At the time Finn was having back issues but not to the extreme as he was after this.

There were so many times that I would go up to the barn and all the horses were practically attacking each other in the paddocks. There wasn't a week that went by that a horse didn't come in from turnout with an injury that either required stall rest or stitches. All the horses were constantly on edge, rearing while being brought in from turnout, kicking and whinnying in their stalls, pawing in the aisles. It was NEVER just one horse, it was ALL of them. There was nothing about the barn that seemed like it was stressful, or dangerous, but still, the injuries and behaviors spoke for themselves.

My current barn has I think, 15 or so horses, and in the few months I haven't seen the vet for an emergency once, or a horse exhibit ANY bad or aggressive behavior. There is no whinnying, or running. There's a bunch of calm horses that happily go about their day. I'm not sure what the difference is, and I alway wonder if Finn would have been better here, and wish that I would have found this barn last year.

But, I wouldn't trade what I have now, and the bond I have, with my little one for anything. She is such a love, so easy going, and loves to do stuff. I measured her today and she's surprisingly 14hh, and she will be 2 in September. I hope she puts on some more height!

Today she also got her first bath and I couldn't have asked for it to go any better. She stood tied, danced a bit, but really started enjoying it at the end. She has the coolest personality. She loves to watch me do everything. She even let me hose her face!


  1. Look at that little belly on her :)

  2. She's so precious. After Emma, I want something pony sized and adorable :-)

  3. Sometimes barns are secretly stressful. They seem normal and calm on the outside but injuries and ulcers tell a different story. Its had to know until you are in the middle of it and even then when you're in the middle of it its hard to identify. The first barn i had Jez in was like that and i didnt even realize how stressed i was (let alone her) until i left the place and all of a sudden i felt calmer, more centered and so did my horse. Sadly the ulcers had already started and they were brutal. Your little girl is lovely and it looks like you are doing great things with her. Sometimes a fresh start is needed. Don't beat yourself up over Finn, you did the best you could. Reflection is good its how we learn but try to be kind to yourself. :)