Breakthrough

Well, the dressage saddle we tried didn't fit. It actually fit Finn really well, but for me it was uncomfortable, pitched me forward, and my legs didn't feel supported correctly. Finn still looked pretty cute as a dressage pony though!

Today we had our first lesson back with our old instructor. The lesson started out with Finn stiff, resistant, evading the bit, swishing his tail, pinning his ears, and his head practically under my chin. I told trainer he's been going okay since we've been back, but that he is just so tense, which, in turn, makes me so tense. We started out long and low on a 20m circle, switching directions, and picking up a little bit of contact every so often, while still making him work long and low. After about 20 minutes of me riding as quietly as possible, trainer had me pick up more contact. This made Finn lift his head, swish his tail, and led to about a 5 minute argument of a battle of wills. Trainer then asked if she could hop on him to figure out what I was feeling. I told her I was just feeling so stuck. She's never ridden him before. It took her about a minute to get him soft, relaxed, forward, and using his back. She rode him for about 20 minutes and then I hopped on.
     Quick backstory... I've had a lot of trainers in my life, and very little consistency in terms of trainers since I've had Finn. In all of my time riding I've never been taught the concept of inside leg to outside rein. I've read about it, and heard about it in lessons but never really understood how to utilize the concept.
When trainer explained what I need to do...push him with my inside leg to my outside hand...I literally yelled out HOLY CRAP. I suddenly had a horse going straight, soft, forward, round, and using his back and hind end. There have been times when I've thought he was using himself correctly. I was so wrong. I may have had his head down, but I didn't have that true contact I felt today, and a straight horse. It was a really crazy feeling to feel your horse move the complete opposite of how you've felt them move for TWO YEARS. It all clicked. I've been riding him wrong for nearly two years. It was a huge breakthrough, and a concept that I suddenly got, and was able to maintain throughout the rest of the lesson. Maybe now we can build that top line!! After our lesson I hosed him off, let him eat a little grass, and Back on Track'd the hell out of him (I should buy stock in BOT...). Such a great day, love my horse, and so happy to be back at our barn and with our trainer. Trainer's also going to do a training ride on Monday night, then I have another lesson Tuesday night, then we have a dressage clinic this weekend. Woohoo!

What doesn't work

On Wednesday night me and Finn had a lesson with the barn's new trainer. I am not usually the type of person that takes a lesson with a new trainer without meeting her and watching her teach a lesson first, but everyone else in the barn loves her and I thought she'd be great for us too.

   We started the lesson walking on the rail and trainer commenting on how stiff he is. He is very stiff, but he has only been ridden 5 times in the past 3 months. I told her that I wasn't sure if we'd ever jump again, and that we'd hopefully be working to a future in dressage. She said that Finn will never be a grand prix dressage horse, that his conformation will really limit him, and that he is built very downhill. I understand that Finn will never be grand prix, and he is not a 17h, gorgeous mover, warmblood, but I do feel like he has potential for something. This trainer made me feel like he has potential for nothing. 

     After walking on the rail and talking to me for 5 minutes we were called into the center of the ring to work on "softening" Finn. I am very stiff through my upper body/elbows, which is something I've always struggled with. To get Finn to soften we stood in the center, I would completely let go of any contact on one side, and then I would turn him in tiny circles while putting my hand behind my thigh, with Finn's nose on his shoulder, or practically touching my saddle........for 45 minutes. I think I trotted all of a minute. Our entire lesson was spent in little, spinning circles, to get Finn to soften. Every time Finn would sigh she'd say "that's good! he's giving in!" I wanted to be like no, he's pissed...while he's grinding his teeth. There was no forward motion. There was Finn resisting and getting more and more confused. I think the final straw was when she told me to "not let him be a little dick", and "I don't care if he falls on his knees, just get him to soften". ........UM WHAT?! This is just not the way I do business with my horse. After 45 minutes of this, into what was supposed to be an hour lesson, she told me to "get off NOW!!!" I literally flew off Finn. She told me I need to get off when he gets the concept we've been working on. Pretty sure neither of us "got it". 

     Luckily we will be working with our old dressage trainer next week, and also have a few dressage clinicians out to work with us. I am all about brutal honesty, but at the same time, 45 minutes of spinning in circles, left both of us dizzy and confused. I want a trainer that will be honest, but also see potential in my horse. After that lesson I spent a long time hanging in Finn's stall and he kept coming over to me, nuzzling my neck, and breathing in my face. It was like he was asking me "mom...what was that?!" I've given him the past few days off, and tomorrow we're taking it easy and going out for a long trail ride-- exactly what we both need!

Decision made

I am half leasing Ben! It's been riding boot camp with 3 lessons this past week. I got up to the barn today, tacked the hunk up-- everyone calls him "uncle Ben" because he really takes care of his person, I call him the hunk ;)--, and off we went to the derby field. When we got outside I was all:

We started off on the flat in the field, and getting Ben to bend by way of figure eights. It was so, so buggy this afternoon with the humidity and dampness, and Ben kept tossing his head, unable to focus (next time I'll put a bonnet on him). We decided to move it into the ring next to the field. Once we were in the ring trainer had me extending down the long side, and sitting/collected trot through the corners. This really, really opened Ben up and he felt great. Then we worked on two canter poles, down the quarter line, with two strides in between. I really need to work on getting OUT OF MY TACK, and trusting my horse. Then we started working on a little course: trot in, vertical, land in canter, two strides, cross rail, change direction across the diagonal, with lead change, canter vertical on diagonal, after lead change in center, take it back to a trot, trot a vertical down the other quarter line in opposite direction, land in canter. After we worked on this a few times, the first two jumps changed to vertical, vertical, cross rail, with one canter stride in between. I had to stay in half seat through the whole bounce, and look UP, at the trailer in the distance. I have a horrible habit of looking down at the jumps. Really, I have a horrible habit of looking down all the time. This gymnastic really helped me get out of my tack. I'd get in half seat, grab mane, and let Ben do his thing...and he does his thing well!! One thing I really need to work on is not cutting my corners short. Ben anticipates and knows where we're going, and I let him take the shortest route possible. Our last go through the course was definitely our best yet, and I felt like a total rockstar after our lesson. 

     I am so happy to be able to lease him for the month and the improvements I've experienced in my riding with my new trainer in 3 lessons has been more improvement than I've experienced in the past few years. Ben is doing wonders for my confidence, riding, and strength. After our lesson we walked all around the property on a loose rein, and then he got a nice bath, and dinner. There is a show at the end of the month on farm that we're planning on doing, at 2'6, which is what we jumped today. I'm psyched. I'll get to ride him 3 times a week throughout my lease, and I'm hoping I can get hubby to come up later in the week to take pictures and videos of us. 

    After I was done with Ben I moved on to Finn. Finn had already been turned in, had his dinner, and was working on his hay. I bought him SoftRide boots at the start of this whole laminitis episode, and Finn went from unable to walk, to prancing around the second I put them on him. He's worn them 24/7 for the past three weeks, and I can't say enough good about them. They are phenomenal, and unlike any boot I've seen. They're basically like orthopedic shoes for horses. There are these removable gel inserts that fit inside the boots, and for the first three weeks I had special laminitic inserts to help his feet heal. Today I wanted to switch out the inserts to the ones that come with the boots. Finn was 200 times better today than he's been the past week. He is off the Ace, and just his goofy, calm, sweet, self. Barn worker said he was an angel for turnout. THANK GOD! I was able to pick up his hooves no problem, put MagnaPaste on them, and put his boots back on. I didn't even bother with a halter or crossties, I just hung out in his stall with him. Because I've been a bad horse mom and basically ignoring him, I decided to brush him because he was filthy. Then, I looked at the little mohawk growing in on his bridle path and I thought why not, I'll clip his muzzle and bridle path too. Grabbed the clippers, turned them on, and Finn dropped his head to my side while I clipped....WHAT?! He's always been the horse that is somewhat resistant to bridle path clipping, with his head in the air, and I was able to clip him in his stall with no halter, no stool, nothing. It was amazing. I was so excited that I went a little clip happy, and took off about an extra inch of bridle path. He then lifted his head a bit for me to get his muzzle. He had his eyes half closed the whole time. I couldn't believe it. Maybe my horse isn't so crazy after all!

    The vet should be rechecking Finn this week, the next step will be back in shoes, normal turnout, and back to work with barn trainer. I'm hoping after a month of her working with Finn, and a month of me working with Ben, we'll both be much more educated and ready for each other. 

It's just FUN...and decisions, decisions

Ever since my lesson the other day I've been thinking non stop about having another one. Trainer was available this morning and I jumped at the opportunity to ride Ben again. By the time of our lesson it was already 95 degrees. I had asked trainer for a flat lesson to work on myself more, but really I did so because my legs were killing me after my first lesson. Ben has a big stride, and a somewhat awkward left lead canter that can be hard to sit to. I haven't jumped other than the ocassional small cross rail in a while, and a course the other day really made my thighs and calves burn. I really, really need to get stronger! Well we started the lesson on the flat, and trainer says she really wants to see us jump again together...in the derby field. A wide, open, flat field with jumps that completely terrifies me. Now I know Ben is a steady eddy, but there is something about a huge field with no boundaries and jumps that freaks me out (why do I want to event again?) So we head off into the field and work on some figure eight canters in the field with lead changes down the diagonal. I have never in my life ridden a horse this fancy, and I haven't ridden a horse with changes in many, many years. Man, it felt good. After getting my confidence in the field we worked on some canter ground poles to start and getting 6 strides in between. We totally nailed it. Jumps were put up and we  did a little course of a cross rail, 6 strides to a vertical, around half the field, change direction over a little log jump, and then back over the two from the opposite direction. I really, really had to work on getting my strides, and keeping Ben focused on where to go, and not drifting. I usually only ride in the ring, and it's amazing how much I relied on the rail as a guide. It's a whole different world in the field! As I was doing an extended canter around the perimeter of the field and looking up over the hill at the tree line on this perfect day, and flying over these jumps that just felt like nothing, I had a smile from ear to ear, for like the first time ever. I felt amazing, and confident, and happy. Trainer said Ben responds so well to me, and that we are a great match. It just felt so right. Ben is for sale, but there is no way in a million years I'd be able to afford a horse as fancy as him. After my lesson I walked Ben all through the fields on a loose rein, thinking. After getting back to the barn trainer discussed a few options with me on what to do with Finn once he is sound.
1. Half lease Ben for a month, while trainer puts in training rides on Finn. Half leasing is big, big money, but something we could swing for just a month...definitely not longer than that.
2. Continue lessons (two or  so a week) on Ben, and put training rides in on Finn. (least $$ option)
3. Put all my money towards a month of training board for Finn, and have no lessons for myself. This would include Finn being worked 6 days a week, and equals out to what it would cost to half lease Ben and full board Finn with 1-2 training rides a week.
4. Return Finn to the MSPCA and full lease Ben for a year. This is my most costly option, but after a year of full leasing, the $$ from full lease would go towards Ben's purchase price if I decided to purchase him at the end of the year. With this option he is essentially mine during the lease, I can move him wherever, and do whatever I wanted with him.

So basically I wish I was a billionaire. Because if I was I would buy Ben tomorrow, keep Finn, and do whatever I could to make him well. Unfortuately, I am not a billionaire.
    I love Finn with all my heart and have tried so hard this past year and a half to help him. And...he just will not stay sound. I feel like if I returned him to the MSPCA it's like I'm giving up on him, and I'm not a quitter. But my fear is I keep treating and treating and treating for everything and he is still not sound. I feel like I'm always walking on eggshells with him.
    I am seriously leaning towards option 1. A month on Ben will do wonders to my riding, and I'll get to go on trail rides, go to a show, jump, and just have fun! Trainer can do some training rides on Finn and I'll be able to get her honest opinion on what she thinks of him. I really like and respect this trainer, and know she'll be brutally honest about Finn. If at the end of a month he is just not going well, and me and Ben really, really click then I'll have to reevaluate.
     I wish I had thought long and hard about the right horse for me before I got Finn, rather than go in with the mentality of need horse now. A 15 year old warmblood would have been much more wiser of a decision than a green 8 year old Thoroughbred. Argh...I don't know. I don't want a horse that's going to take me to the Olympics. I want a horse that will happily plug me over 2ft courses, will compete at BN events, possibly go further in dressage, hunter pace, that I can trailer anywhere and everywhere for trail rides, go to the beach, go to my family's house in Maine and ride the dirt roads. I don't want a serious competitor. I want a horse I can ride now, safely.

The HUNK

After 30 minutes of begging, pleading, and swearing Finn finally goes in the wash stall

Highs and lows

I don't feel like dwelling on the horrible things that have happened the past few days, so I will keep it brief. Finn reared up on me in the indoor yesterday during hand walking and came at me with legs in the air. He took off toward the outdoor at a full gallop. I cornered him while he was grazing. Once I got him inside he reared up on me half a dozen times. He lost one of his boots on his victory gallop and it took 45 minutes to find it in 95 degree heat. Tried to bring him in the wash stall, he reared. When I got to the barn today I heard from the young girl working there that he did the same thing to her this morning and took off, almost toward the road this time. She wasn't expecting it and he almost pinned her. I know he hasn't been out in three weeks but it's like the past few days a switch has flipped, and he is just gone. He has this faraway look in his eyes. He is almost acting like he's getting abused, which I know is not the case. He is completely and utterly terrified of everything, like the wash stall. He snorts and backs up like a mad man at something we've never had an issue with. He's acting like he's never had a day of training in his life. Oh, and during his gallop this morning he lost a boot again and no one can find it. Me and Matt spent 2 hours searching the entire area he was loose in. There goes $350 bucks, awesome. I had a lesson on one of the lesson horses today and while I was walking my lesson horse around the field to cool him out, we came up over the hill and I see Finn in his pen, charging the pen with his chest, squealing, rearing, and snorting. He is dangerous. He's going to hurt someone. My god.

So anyways, I need a few days to figure out what the hell is going on and get my head on straight. He'll be aced for turnout for the next few days.

I haven't ridden in a month or so, and between everything, I haven't really wanted to. Trainer asked me the other day if I'd be interested in lesson on one of her sale/lesson horses. My friend Carole, who I moved to new barn with, was taking a lesson, and we could do a semi private. I thought, why not.

Today reminded me why I love horses and riding. I rode a 16.3h, 15yr old Warmblood named Ben who is the total, total packer. He's also a total, total hunk!!

Look at those legs!!

I was definitely smitten with his manners: being able to pick his feet without 20 minutes of begging, fly spraying him without him having a mini heart-attack, saddling him without ear pinning, and bridling him without him tossing his head in the air and being a total pain in the ass.
     Our lesson started with a 20 minute warm up and then it was on to jumping. I haven't jumped, aside from the very occasional cross rail, in a long time. Today, I jumped a full course with a smile on my face. I was able to sit back and just have fun. I was able to work on "me", and count strides, and feel how things are supposed to feel when they're right. It was awesome. My trainer pointed out that I look like a completely different rider on Ben. I was...I was actually confident. Carole kept saying how great I looked on him. This is our first go through the first couple of jumps. I'm so used to basically crouching in the fetal position, holding back, and not releasing with my hands (due to fear), that these bad habits carried over to poor Ben today. Hopefully a few more lessons with him I will be able to just let go.

 This was the first time I've had fun riding, without fearing for my life, in longer than I can remember...which is sad.
     I know that horses like this aren't just made this way, and it takes a lot of training to get them this way. My fear with Finn is that his heart isn't in in. That he doesn't want a job to do. That we will get a month of consistency, only to be injured for two months and start all over again. I know for sure that when he's better there is no way I'm going to be the first one on his back. He is either going into full training here, or being sent away for training.

    Ben doesn't know how much I needed him today. Thanks, buddy.

Final straw

Had my first lesson today at new barn. It went so badly that new trainer hopped on...I don't know where my horse left his brain, but I'm pretty sure it's back at his last barn. He is so stressed, so tightly wound, and basically the 100% opposite of the horse I've known for the past year and a half. He is miserable.  The barn is loud, horses are on trailers, off trailers, there's schooling shows going on, a bazillion lessons, farrier here, vet there, and Finn's little pony brain says OH MY GOD. He is such a total dick, and I feel like the most incompetent person on earth whenever I head up to the barn. I don't know what to do. More on lesson tomorrow, need to decompress.

Allergies

Luckily the vet was able to come out right away to take a look at Finn's hives:

They were even worse than this on his sides

After a steroid shot and a day of dexamethasone (of a four day treatment) his hives cleared right up. The vet said his lungs sounded really raspy, but she attributed it to allergies, and not something more serious like pneumonia. She also recommended soaking his hay from now on so he won't be breathing in the dust from it. The barn he's at right now is extremely dusty. The paddocks are dirt and there is basically just dirt and dust everywhere. Luckily, his new barn has grass paddocks and just a whole lot more greenery. I'm hoping his normal little warm up cough (two or three coughs), and his super dry hooves, will subside once we move. Two weeks from now we'll be all moved in to our new home and I can't wait!  Vet also tested for Vitamin E and Selenium deficiency. Finn's had a pretty dull coat recently, even though he's on Omega's, and the vet thought it would be worth it to test. New England is very deficient in Vit. E/Selenium, and even though he's on a supplement, she thought it might not be enough. Results should be in around Wednesday.
   After a week of dealing with Finn's allergies he was finally better for a lesson on Saturday. There was a  well known dressage clinician there that day, so the barn was packed, and Finn was very excited about all the activity. I had the best lesson, and I really feel like we're making progress (finally). I think I'm getting much more consistent in my contact, and a lot more following and not so stuck. My reins felt like elastics. I'm also much better about using my left rein, which is something I always struggle with. We still had some llama moments in the canter, but our trot was great, Finn was supple, really using his back, and not hollowing at all. He is getting so much stronger and I can even see a difference in his topline. Two things I needed to be reminded about constantly was "chin up" (I look at his ears), and to sit back ( I always tilt forward). Then...we did a little jumping. It's been a while since I've jumped him, and oh boy was he excited. There is nothing Finn likes more than jumping. Luckily he really takes care of me over jumps. My trainer could see my nerves...even over a little two foot cross rail, so she made me sing the ABC's over the jumps. This helped a lot! I'm hoping that the more often we jump, and the more I just trust my horse, my nerves won't kick in so much. I also asked my trainer if she'd be interested in teaching me at my new barn. She said she'd love to, but it will probably only be twice a month, as new barn charges a ring fee. After our lesson Finn got a good hosing off. While we were in the wash stall the clinician came up to me and said that I had the most talented little horse, and that she just loved him. I definitely liked hearing that!

Lessons

The past few weeks I've changed my work schedule around so I could take some dressage lessons with the barn's regular trainer. She normally teaches younger kids, and after watching some very basic walk/trot lessons, I wasn't sure if we were going to click. Holy crap...After two lessons, I've never been more sore or sweaty, and learned so much. I absolutely LOVE her and it makes me not want to move at the end of the month. I've never really understood what is an appropriate amount of contact to have. After growing up with drill sergeant instructors who repeated over and over the importance of "soft hands" I didn't realize until two weeks ago how my idea of soft hands is really NO contact...like not even a feel on Finn's mouth. Trainer emphasized that having weight in my hands is important, and letting Finn know I'm there to help him is important, until he's able/strong enough to carry himself correctly. When I lifted my hands, and really pushed him into my hands, it was like a whole different world. A forward, relaxed horse for all of five strides until we lost it. Our second lesson was better than our first, and trainer had to constantly remind me to scratch Finn on the neck when he was a good boy. Whenever I scratched Finn and whispered good boy, he'd try even harder. Trainer says Finn is not the type of horse that you can just "force" something onto him. He needs to think about it, process it, and try to execute it. If he doesn't execute correctly he gets frustrated. He thrives on positive reinforcement and really wants to do things right, he just doesn't have the training yet. When trainer asked us what our goals were I said I'd like to do a few BN schooling events this summer, and work on getting him collected, willing, and straight. We reviewed the dressage pyramid of training and I guess I didn't realize how high up actual straightness is:

I think we have made strides this past year in terms of rhythm, relaxation, and connection...but not so much in terms of impulsion. We'll also be taking a few jumping lessons in the next few weeks before we move with the other trainer at the barn. My friend Michelle, who was riding Finn a few times a week, recently moved her horse closer to home, so now it's all on me, and I haven't jumped him in nearly a month. I've been riding 4-5 times a week on the flat and I really feel like we're getting somewhere, but we definitely need to start jumping more. Tentative schedule for the week:

Monday- Flat school outside
Tuesday- Flat school, and popping over a few cross rails
Wednesday- Finn gets the day off, I'll probably take a yoga class
Thursday- Jumping lesson
Friday- Possible flat school or hack
Saturday- Dressage lesson
Sunday- Day off

In other news, Finn has been breaking out in hives due to bugs. He gets fly sprayed every day, and wears a fly mask but still has hives all over his neck and sides. They don't seem to bother him, and go right down when I put witch hazel on them, but they look horrible. I'm afraid to put him in a fly sheet because I've heard that flies can get under them and bug him even more...but I don't want him looking so horrible. I don't know if I should try a different fly spray (we currently use this) or what.

Very happy to be eating dinner inside with his Back on Track gear on!

This one loves ponies....we're in trouble

Also, be sure to check out the awesome, super cute, Happy Hound stationary giveaway on She Moved To Texas' blog! :)  http://www.shemovedtotexas.com/happy-hound-personalized-equestrian-stationary-giveaway/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+SheMovedToTexas+%28She+Moved+to+Texas%29

Lesson and life lessons

Finn has had since last Friday off due to his SI injections. Before having the vet out last Friday I had scheduled a lesson with my old trainer for today. I was supposed to ride him and test the waters on Monday but that plan didn't work out. I was pretty nervous hopping on him today, after injections, four days off, and two days in due to bad weather. But....he was great! I don't know if it was the time off, or the injections kicking in, but I felt like he had sneakers on. He was floating.
    Trainer showed up and I guess I didn't remember how difficult she was! We learned so much in just half an hour, and I really, really need to work on my half seat because my lack of strength was painfully obvious. I tend to come way to far forward, over the front of the saddle, rather than staying centered over the motion. Actually using my body correctly felt so OFF. Trainer also mentioned that she thinks the best way to motivate me is to set a goal (our first show) and in the coming months do everything we can to prepare for said show. I think I've decided on June 9th at Green Acres http://www.greenacresstables.com/classic_green_004.htm for our first debut. They have a summer event series, and the Elementary 3 phase will be right up our alley. This was the first time trainer had met Finn and she absolutely loved him, and thought he was perfect for me. She asked what we've been doing this past year together and it was very difficult to say...well, nothing. I told her that he's had some issues, and my own paranoia on his health stalled us a whole lot this past year.
     Then I started thinking about why I'm so paranoid on his, well...imminent death. Seriously, I think about him dying all the time. My 8 year old, healthy horse, dying. I think about him colicing and dying, crashing into a fence and breaking his legs, a paddock injury that kills him.... Is that weird?
    My husband and I have house rabbits. Those cute, cuddly, little furry faces that you normally see in backyard hutches. Although ours live in our living room, enjoy free range of our house, are litter box trained, and are the smartest animals I've ever had the pleasure of calling mine. We currently have five of them. Three years ago, while we were living in New York we had a little lop eared rabbit named Bailey that we got when he was 12 weeks old from a breeder in Buffalo. He was the cutest, silliest little guy, and we loved him to pieces. Then, he got sick. It started with some sneezing and drooling while he was eating. We took him to our local vet, and after getting his teeth done (much in the same way a horse gets his done), and onto some antibiotics, he didn't get better. We took him to so many local vets, and then finally to Cornell to be seen by an exotics specialist. After having a CT scan done the vet found an inch long tumorish something in his nasal cavity, surrounded by veins, that if severed, would kill him. Surgery was impossible. We opted for daily penicillin injections to try and shrink it. For about seven months I kept him alive. My husband was training for a job where the training was based out of state, I was living in New York with no family, I was pregnant, and in the process of moving back to Boston. I packed up the entire house in two weeks, and moved all of our things and our rabbits back home with the help of Matt's brother. Bailey was extremely ill, had lost a ton of weight, but I persevered in keeping him alive. Every night he would lay next to me, rest his head on my arm, while I looked into his sad little eyes. At around 35 weeks pregnant, while I was at a doctors appointment, Bailey passed away. He passed away in pain and I will never forgive myself for not doing the right thing for him.
     I am still not over his death. He wasn't even two years old. Now, I am obsessed with something being wrong with my animals. Every time my horse takes a misstep, or looks a little off, I think there's something wrong. Only recently, in the past few months or so, I've realized that the point is not dwelling on our animals short lives, but enjoying them, loving them, and giving them the best lives while they're here with us. I have to remind myself of this all the time, to just enjoy the now, but it's finally getting a little bit easier.

Bailey bunny

Growing Up

The Wednesday after our lesson last week I decided it was a good idea to take a 1 hour yoga class in a 100 degree room after not taking a class in a few years, and then ride that afternoon. I felt okay after yoga, actually my body felt great, but I didn't realize just how bad my muscles were affected until I tried to get on my horse that afternoon. I could barely lift my leg over the saddle. Forget about a trot and canter, my legs were shaking at the walk... Finn had Thursday and Friday off (mostly due to my own recovery), and then a trainer ride Saturday, and off on Sunday. I guess I need to remember not to push myself so hard when I go to yoga again. I was up at the barn on Friday to get Finn clipped and took a few pictures (see below).
    Finn's trainer ride went pretty good. My trainer is working on his canter and she told me that his canter is probably the worst she's ever ridden. Yikes! He is basically legs everywhere, unbalanced, nose in the air. She got a couple of really good canter strides, didn't want to push him, and worked more on his trot.
     Today was a completely different story with the canter during our lesson. 4 new horses moved into the barn today, and my horse gets seriously stressed out with change. When I went to pull him in from the paddock he nearly ran me over, did a couple of sideways leaps, and a couple of half rears. On the crossties he was dancing around, whinnying, wild-eyed, and completely crazy. I haven't gotten nervous around him in a while, but I was pretty nervous. There was also a lot of commotion in the barn. Today was a holiday, which I completely forgot about. Usually I get to the barn around 1 and it is empty. Before Finn's bad behavior could escalate even further we tacked up super quick, and I hopped on. I thought about lunging him, but there were a few people riding, and another boarder lunging her horse that was bucking, rearing and tearing around the ring in a frenzy... There is nothing I can't stand more than lunging to get bad behavior out, especially when there are other people riding.
     We warmed up at the walk and trot, and although Finn had his head in the clouds, and continued to call out to his buddies, the silliness stopped for the most part. When our trainer arrived we cantered a few 20m circles to warm up and I couldn't believe the loose, forward horse I had under me. For the first time Finn's canter felt almost normal. He was reaching for the contact and felt so much more balanced. We worked more on the canter throughout the lesson and I felt glimmers of hope for his normally choppy, horrible canter. We also worked on some raised cavaletti, and lots of leg yields.
      I'm so proud of my horse. I really thought I was going to have a horrible ride given his behavior in the paddock, and all of the excitement in the barn, but he was able to settle down and get to work. It makes me excited for show season. He really seems to excel when there's an audience watching! My trainer took a short video of us in the beginning of our ride before he settled down. His little head tossing used to turn into full out rears, luckily he seems to have grown out of that!

    

   I also put him in a Happy Mouth loose ring snaffle and he seems to go a lot better in it. I feel like in the Myler Comfort Snaffle he would just lean and pull the entire time I was riding him. In the Happy Mouth I feel like he's not so heavy, but not shying away from the contact either. I need to remember to be lighter with my hands though. I feel like the Myler taught me to be way too harsh because no matter what I did I couldn't get him forward into the contact. In the Happy Mouth I feel like it's much easier, with much less effort!  We're getting a cold front/snow the next few days. I hope to ride on Wednesday but with 10 degrees as the high Finn might get a few days off! Here's some pictures from last Friday. 

Conformation shot after almost a year together. I think he looks good, especially that nice, shiny, coat!

Enough with the pictures, Mom!

You want him to believe that he can do everything fabulously.

Today I had a great lesson. My lessons are usually half an hour, but after feeling like I can't really get my groove in half an hour I asked me trainer if we could do an hour. We started really working on Finn's canter today. His trot is becoming much more balanced, but his canter is very unbalanced, and I have a tough time staying with him, and trying to help him. I tend to hold his head, which is a bad habit I've been trying to break. My trainer told me to just let go of his head and let him find his own sense of balance for now. I essentially had to act like the passenger, not the driver. For the first time ever, I sat back, relaxed, opened my hips, and Finn dropped his head, became round, and started really using his hind end. It felt amazing. I have the tendency to lean forward, push Finn into the canter, hold my upper body like a board, and not have a following hand. I think today was the first time I ever relaxed at the canter with him.
    My trainer commented that Finn is a very forgiving horse and that he instantly tells you if what you're doing is correct. I feel like our moments of correctness are becoming more and more.
    After working on the canter for a bit we started doing some crossrails. I haven't jumped in a while, so I was really psyching myself out about it. The first jump we came up to at the trot didn't feel right to me. He wasn't paying attention, and I hauled him to a stop DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF THE JUMP. I can't even believe I did this...I never ever have before. I was completely horrified. I immediately realized that that cannot happen, and before he could think about it to much, we circled, trotted up to the jump and sailed over it. My horse really is forgiving of all my faults!!!
    We then worked on cantering cross rails. Finn is such a smooth jumper (at times) that cantering jumps with him just feels like another canter stride and not a jump. He was such a good boy and dripping in sweat by the end of our lesson.
    At the end of our lesson we worked on a little more flat work. He was so loose, forward, and off the forehand, I felt like I had a different horse under me and it was amazing. I currently have Finn in a Myler Comfort Snaffle, but my trainer suggested I try a double jointed loose ring snaffle. I think I'll pick one up tomorrow and see how he goes in it.
    I feel like with all the riding lately Finn's level of fitness has greatly increased and my fear of his inabilities has greatly decreased. I think that with all the injuries Finn has had in the past year has made me think he is chronically lame, and that I needed to baby him (like ride only twice a week at the walk and trot...).
     I recently started reading Jane Savoie's Dressage 101. I've watched Jane's training videos in the past and absolutely love how she teaches in such a clear, "makes sense" approach. One quote really stuck out to me:

"You need to build the horse's self esteem. You want him to believe that he can do absolutely everything fabulously. This attitude goes for riders as well... Build your self esteem and your confidence in your abilities. The way to do this is to practice being positive about yourself. Create a mental image of yourself as a patient, capable, brave rider". - Jane Savoie

    This quote sums up everything I struggle with, and everything I need to work on. I know how Finn reacts when my confidence is there. He would jump the moon for me. I need to believe in that, and I need to believe in myself to get him there. I have big goals for both of us, and I know that we are both capable of getting there.
    I can remember only TWO good rides of 2012. One, a jumping lesson around June of last year, and two, our dressage clinic last September. To only be able to remember two really great rides in nearly an entire year of ownership is not good, or fun. Luckily, this year is off to a much better start.
     I have off from work tomorrow and plan on heading up to the barn in the afternoon. I'm thinking of doing some no stirrup work, riding for a while in two point (my legs were killing me after our lesson today!), work on the canter some more, and do lots of trot and transition work. I'm hoping to convince my husband to come up to the barn with me to get some pictures and videos of us.

Lesson and 2013 Goals

Today I had a lesson after two weeks off from riding due to a terrible cold. The lesson went surprisingly better than any lesson has in the past. I've been thinking a lot lately about what I've been doing wrong in my riding. It seems that ever since I brought Finn home my riding ability has decreased. Because I've mostly ridden horses that are more finished than Finn is, I've picked up a lot of bad habits that he makes very obvious. Our biggest issue is connection. I just cannot seem to connect his hind end to his front end, and he ends up plodding around with his nose in the air, heavy on the forehand. I let my left rein go loopy, keep a good connection with my right hand, and pull his head to the right all the time. Today, for one of the very first times, I was able to keep consistent contact in both reins, and for a few fleeting moments push him forward into the contact into a beautiful frame. I could feel him coming through his back and not hollowing. My trainer was shocked at the change in my riding in just a few short weeks, and how persistent I was being with him. I told her that I was sick of babying him and feeling like he wasn't capable of much of anything. I was sick of not accomplishing ANYTHING in a year. I also just got a new saddle last month that has made a big difference in my riding and feeling centered and balanced. I've realized that if we're going to do anything this year I need to start pushing him, believing in him, and trusting my instincts. We're at a great barn now where the majority of the barn goes to shows, and I really want to accompany them with my horse.
     In 2013 our major goal is to complete our first event together. The calendars for my area aren't up yet, but I know that Pipestave usually offers a very inviting event around July. http://www.wnrdc.com/index.cfm. This is definitely a possibility for us as I know a few girls from the barn school xc here and go to this event. I'd also like to go to a hunter pace, do a couple of schooling shows with him, and have my trainer ride him in a couple of shows. I really want to get off property and expose him to as much as possible. To the best of my knowledge he's never been to a show so it will be a real learning experience for him. The great thing about him though is that he's such a good boy and takes just about everything in stride. I love my horse, and it feels so good to say that.