So anyways, I need a few days to figure out what the hell is going on and get my head on straight. He'll be aced for turnout for the next few days.
I haven't ridden in a month or so, and between everything, I haven't really wanted to. Trainer asked me the other day if I'd be interested in lesson on one of her sale/lesson horses. My friend Carole, who I moved to new barn with, was taking a lesson, and we could do a semi private. I thought, why not.
Today reminded me why I love horses and riding. I rode a 16.3h, 15yr old Warmblood named Ben who is the total, total packer. He's also a total, total hunk!!
|Look at those legs!!|
Our lesson started with a 20 minute warm up and then it was on to jumping. I haven't jumped, aside from the very occasional cross rail, in a long time. Today, I jumped a full course with a smile on my face. I was able to sit back and just have fun. I was able to work on "me", and count strides, and feel how things are supposed to feel when they're right. It was awesome. My trainer pointed out that I look like a completely different rider on Ben. I was...I was actually confident. Carole kept saying how great I looked on him. This is our first go through the first couple of jumps. I'm so used to basically crouching in the fetal position, holding back, and not releasing with my hands (due to fear), that these bad habits carried over to poor Ben today. Hopefully a few more lessons with him I will be able to just let go.
This was the first time I've had fun riding, without fearing for my life, in longer than I can remember...which is sad.
I know that horses like this aren't just made this way, and it takes a lot of training to get them this way. My fear with Finn is that his heart isn't in in. That he doesn't want a job to do. That we will get a month of consistency, only to be injured for two months and start all over again. I know for sure that when he's better there is no way I'm going to be the first one on his back. He is either going into full training here, or being sent away for training.
Ben doesn't know how much I needed him today. Thanks, buddy.