"...A few of us were there eating and after a moment an auditor asked if she might have some advice about her horse situation. With a nod from the clinician, the auditor said she had come into some money and finally imported the horse of her dreams. The gelding arrived and within a few months developed some sort of nebulous lameness that vets had not been able to diagnose. That was 4 years ago, the horse was still not sound. No cost was spared, no opinion ignored. The auditor asked what she should do next.
The clinician barely looked up from her plate. “Dump him,” she said, “You’re not getting any younger.” Stunned silence. I hoped she meant to say retire him. She continued after a bite, “It’s gone on too long, get another horse.” It was like the clinician had pulled out a gun and shot the horse herself. The mid-life auditor had tears streaming down her cheeks. She managed to choke out something in an almost-adult voice. No one was fooled.
I took it personally. I had a horse at home with a layered and obscure health concern that I had not been able to help, even after several vets and thousands of dollars. I wanted to shoot the clinician. Even if she was right."
While a bit brash, I get it. It took me a while and a lot of tears, but I get it. The other day hubby turned to me and said, after I had come home from the barn with a smile on my face, "you know what I like best about Avalon?" "What?" "That you don't come home and say your horse needs the vet, is lame again, that you're calling the chiropractor, that you want to try a different supplement, etc., etc." In the two years that I had Finn there was very rarely a day where I would come home happy from the barn. Even when he was sound. Even when we had a good day. There was always something missing. A little bit of fear that kept me from ever truly enjoying him. So maybe getting him was a mistake. But I'd like to think that in the two years I had him I gave him a better life than anyone could. Until I couldn't anymore. And I am okay with that. Like really, truly, 100% okay with my decisions.
And then with the job. I started today and it went amazingly well. I absolutely love it and can see myself growing within the University. It is a very casual office, yet professional-- something that was sorely lacking at my old job. I am STILL getting text messages from my old boss, even though I don't work there anymore. If I don't reply he keeps texting me with '???". I am not sure how to handle this. The other day he texted me and asked me where stamps were...Really?
I feel like these past six months I've made some very positive life choices. With Avalon and getting a new job, both decisions much better for my family and my life.
|A new way to wear a fly mask|
|She hates the barn pig|