"I hope no one who reads this book has been quite as miserable as Susan and Lucy were that night; but if you have been- if you've been up all night and cried till you have no more tears left in you- you will know there comes in the end a sort of quietness".- C.S. Lewis, The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe

Today was the first day I was supposed to lunge Finn. He's had two full days of turnout since his week of stall rest. Brought him in this afternoon, brushed him quickly, hooked him up to the lunge, and sent him off. Never mind the 20 minutes it took me to catch him in the paddock, or the fact that I couldn't get him to walk forward in the aisle toward the indoor, or the fact that he was completely freaked out on the cross ties about some monster that was clearly behind him. I can look past all those things.

What I can't look past is the fact that I sent my horse out on the lunge and he took off like a psycho path. Fine, he's had some time off. But this wasn't normal 'yahoo, I feel great'. This was more like 'everything in my body hurts, so I'm going to cross canter, squeal, almost fall over because I'm so unbalanced, swish my tail, and not listen to a word you say, oh, and if you try to touch my back, I'll kick you'. Yep, couldn't even touch his back. Things we've done:

1. 6 back injections
2. Tildren
3. Hock injections
4. Loading dose of Pentosan
5. Depo 5 days ago
6. Robaxin 14 pills 2 times a day (for the past 7 days)
7. 1/2 tube of Equioxx every day (for past 7 days)

I was supposed to start lunging today, and start working him in a Pessoa Lunging System this week. Asking a horse that is acting like this to work in a Pessoa would clearly end in disaster.

The time has definitely come to say goodbye. Stay tuned.


  1. :( I'm sorry. Have been following your story and was so hoping for a good outcome.

  2. Thank you. It's very sad. I just feel like there is nothing more I can do for him. If he had a good work ethic, I would keep pushing. But he is miserable, and I am miserable.

  3. So sorry :-( was hoping for better news, but perhaps it's better to make the decision now, rather than struggle through and end up in the same place. I know that doesn't make it easier at all. Hugs!

  4. Replies
    1. I know...me too. I just don't know what to do anymore!! :( He's completely dangerous now. I just don't get it.

  5. Im so sorry to hear this. I understand how upsetting this must be for you. Its upsetting for me and i just read your blog, i don't live it. My thoughts are with you both.

    1. Thank you. I don't even know if I'm making the right decision.

  6. I know I'm simply echoing everyone else's comments but I'm really sorry to hear this :(