In limbo

"It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lost it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives".

Finn went back this morning. My husband went with him and told me he lost it when signing the paperwork over to the MSPCA. The head of the MSPCA reminded us that we have literally done everything for him. Everyone in the barn there reminded him that we have done everything. They see horses in the worst condition there, hundreds of pounds underweight, completely broken. Finn stepped off the trailer in amazing shape, in his $400 Rambo blanket, and leather nameplated halter. He is so far from a rescue horse. This really sucks and it's been a terrible day. I found myself randomly crying at least ten times today and just typing this has me in tears. He was supposed to be so much more. I loved him so very much. I am really hoping that that quote up at the top rings true.

Never did I think that I would be the type of person to bring a horse, or any animal, to the MSPCA. And if you knew me, you would know that I am the type of person who would do anything for an animal, and has. A rescuer, not a surrenderer. And I guess it's really tough to admit to the I surrender part. If I could put him in my backyard, if I could have found the right retirement situation in the area that wouldn't cost an arm and a leg, I would not have returned him. But after exhausting all options the one that made the most sense was to let go. To hope and pray that he would find the right home for him, the home I couldn't be.

Now I find myself in this weird, no horse, limbo. There's no barn to go to, no place to fill my time, no barn friends to hang out with, no fuzzy nose waiting for me over the stall door.

I'm taking a break from blogging for a few weeks. I'll be keeping up with all of yours. I do have big news (I'm sure you can guess), but I am waiting until everything is finalized and I can emotionally recover from all of this to share.